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January 16, 2018

The thot plickens (or: I r a cryptocurrency scamzor!)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Benjamin Vulpes @ 8:57 a.m.

Continuing from the previous entry, I just got several copies of the same pasta delivered even to companies from which I have been divested for some time! Gracious, the competence on display...

Ben,

This is NOT worth it. You seem like a smart guy; spending your time stealing from innocent, hard working people is going to bite you in the ass. Send the 50000 dogecoin back to the wallet address below:

D6NwWpFzL9GerQygiwnobRW517mRnEx2nS

You, unfortunately, did your little scam to the wrong group of people by stealing from me. We know you have stolen from A LOT of people Ben. After posting online people are coming out of the woodworks about how you have stolen cryptocurrencies from them as well.

We are ready to flood Google SERP results for Benjamin Kaplin, Ben Vulpes, Benjamin Vulpes and Kara Fern (Portland, OR) with: ** BENJAMIN KAPLIN & KARA FERN CRYPTOCURRENCY SCAM ARTISTS **

Whenever anyone Google's you or Kara Fern, these will be the first links to show up, forever. Or...you can just send the 50,000 dogecoin back that you stole and this will all be over.

Stop Stealing from People.

D6NwWpFzL9GerQygiwnobRW517mRnEx2nS

and...

Ben,

This is NOT worth it. You seem like a smart guy; spending your time stealing from innocent, hard working people is going to bite you in the ass.

You, unfortunately, fucked with the wrong group of people by stealing from me. Now, we know you have stolen from A LOT of people Benjamin.

We are ready to flood Google SERP results for Benjamin Kaplin and Kara Fern (Portland, OR) with: ** BENJAMIN KAPLIN & KARA FERN CRYPTOCURRENCY SCAM ARTISTS **

Whenever anyone Google's you or your wife, these will be the first links to show up, forever. Or...you can just send the 50,000 doge back and this can all be over:

D6NwWpFzL9GerQygiwnobRW517mRnEx2nS

I'm kicking myself in the ass cause I was even nice enough to pull over on the side of the road during the rain and risk getting into an accident to send you the doge LOL.

Benjamin Kaplin and Kara Fern, we know where you live, we know what your hobbies are (besides stealing), where you used to work, what you do for a living, what school you went to, we know just about everything we need to know. All you have to do, is do the right thing.

Send the 50000 doge back Benjamin & Kara.

D6NwWpFzL9GerQygiwnobRW517mRnEx2nS

Good luck with your SERPing, ya broke-ass; If you're looking to run this operation on 50% margins, you've got somewhere around 300 USD to deploy websites and buy rankings against them, and I can trivially trash that by publishing on the site that actually bears my name. Even though I could not give fewer shits about what USG.WORLDBOOK indices regurgitate from the bowels of the web about me, the odds are vehehehery bad that you're going to topple me from the results for my own name, and get worse when I start weaponizing your own copy against you1. Those three hundred bucks (or six, if you want to burn all of your imaginary unrealized gains) just aren't going to go that far.

For the sake of completeness, let's enumerate what could have happened: someone impersonated me, and scammed someone of a pathetically small amount of greentext cryptocurrency; I actually scammed some fools; or this is a hilariously bad blackmail attempt.

In the first case, the losers are losers and shit out of luck by virtue of never having verified anything the impersonator wrote against either my style or my cryptographic keys; ignorance of the law (that business may only be done with keys) is no excuse for being so stupid that you should never have been let out of the womb. I deem this unlikely; any who actually know me would know how I do business outside of the #trilema Web of Trust.

In the second case, I invite the accusers to enter the court of the Republic of Bitcoin, and present documents bearing my signature that declare a debt or otherwise entitle them to any amount of anything for settling by the Lords. These documents do not exist, this will not happen.

The third option, that this is a risible attempt to blackmail a Lord of the Republic of Bitcoin by threatening to smear his reputation, will stand as the fact of the matter by my writ.

Have a good night. I'll see "you"((Can't be a person without a key, and none of this came RSA signed.)) in the Court.

  1. Ripping the arms off of the offensively stupid and beating them to death with said arms is my favorite hobby! You know that, right? You said that you knew that! []

1 Comment »

  1. If you're looking to run this operation on 50% margins, you've got somewhere around 300 USD to deploy

    You misunderstand the business arrangement. The recurrent costs are entirely account management (so they have ~300 USD ie tits money) to "pay" for the idiots doing the copy-pasting and "research" (hey, USG DoS & friends does "research" in exactly the same way, then they "classify" it so people don't laugh at their "you really pay "ambassadors" to read wikipedia pages on places for you ?!) not doing any actual work as they defined it.

    No, the work may be done as a once-only or in any case exceptional capital goods expenditure (say they google bomb a name once in the past so the camwhores working have what to point to in their scripts).

    This is how NEET world works universally, they did something arguably maybe once long ago and desire to realise off of it every day. Forever.

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